The routine.

I understand that I post very little recently but I plan to make that differ. The past month my life seems to have hit rock bottom. In my last post I mentioned my admiration for a girl named Raine. A relationship did prevail but as usual, it came to an end. This time it was different, I ended it. I like to think of myself as an emotional based person whereas Raine was the total opposite. My new band was short lived as I left then re-entered, then our bassist left. I am currently starting two new projects as a replacement. I have started a two man duo with Jed inspired by the likes of secondhand serenade and mayday parade. The second is a metal band with a friend James Kelly which is still to come together. To top off my failure, I had a major fight with my Father with, as a result, caused a mass amount of awkwardness among my family. My routine being, as everything seems to be looking good I somehow take action to make it fail. The way things are looking it comes across to me as though I'm destine to live alone. As much as I deteste this concept, it is possibly for the best. Although all odds are against me I am determine to find my perfect girl. The trouble is finding her. 

Disbelief.

To my own disbelief I have actually unveiled a female that I can have somewhat of a relation with. Her name is Raine. The only time I will be stereotypical is when I say that a name of that genre is a type that is only used to name tropical destination babies. This girl is not from a tropical background. She is one that suites my 'label' to near perfection. I met her through a friend and from a first glance I was attracted. I'm not a believer of love at first sight so I had to pull out my social skills, even of their minimal mass, and find out who she really was. I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in what she had to say in return of the questions I laid upon her. She likes me music, she likes my dress sense, she likes... me. When I was to figure this out I was surprised to the extent that a smile grew on my face. An event that happens not that often. I invited her round my house after I had persuaded my mother that I was ill. The day was amazing. It wasn't romantic or mind blowing but it worked for the both of us. Every second that passed when she was in my arms was a moment of bliss. It beat a lot of things I had done prior to the event. I'm in somewhat of a rush to make us 'official' but time is key in this certain situation. I'm going to let this pan-out despite my temptation of impatient thoughts.

The follow on.

My life has been vacuumed of any excitement of which it previously held so therefore I have nothing interesting to post. The reason for the lack of forfillment is likely due to the fact that I have practically given up on everything and the level of depression is on a constant increase. I have decided to take the easy option and yet again include an extract of my novel.

"The sweet smell of her perfume flowed through my senses and the moon glittered brightly among the stars. The look on her face expressed her appreciation for this beautiful night. As I stood, speechless, her facial expression seemed to overcome me and all my awareness of the time disappeared into the black sky above us. I fell into the long grass due to the concept of this overwhelming fantasy and her body shortly joined me. The look in her eyes read a thousand words that gently drifted through my mind. The thoughts that I ever believed that you were a lost cause had now been vanquished along with the nightmares that one haunted me."

I have no idea of when my novel will be finished but I hope the girl it's based on will get the first copy. I hope.

A short love story.

I haven't really spectated my blog recently as I have been indulged in my new source of entertainment which is my novel. I honestly had nothing to partake in so I took a pretty randomised decision and made a start on a novel. I felt the need to express what has took my interests so here I will include an extract...


"As I lay in admire of the low level view of the grass based on the positioning of my head on the soft but somewhat timid ground. I tilt my head slightly to reveal the beauty that lay beside me. The different colours in her hair send a breeze of admiration through my overactive brain. I slowly exhale the smoke I had earlier inhaled for a small sense of relaxation. The sun bathed on her skin, an almost glow shone back upon me. The summer holidays had felt long awaited but I settled into it instantly. I knew from the moment her eyes met mine on the first day of these wonderful holidays that I would enjoy the time that is left to unveil before me. The music that blasted through my headphones just added to high level of relaxation I felt this day. Her head slowly started to turn in my direction as a realisation hit her of my long glare. Her head met my level and a smile spread across her face at a perfect rate. Nearly as perfect as the attitude what met. "


My novel is still a 'work in progress' but will shortly be finished. I hoped anyone who viewed has left on a positive note. 

Why has it come to this?

As I sit here and partake in my daily 5 minute dosage of 'Facebook' I feel a slight disturbance. I glare at the grimace of what means of social life today's youth has come to. I fully understand that facebook is a great way of communication and browsing people's life content but I can't help but feel our world's youth, soon to be the working citizens of tomorrow, are wasting their lives spending hours upon hours on social networking sites. I can easily recognise the difference between a natural teenager and someone who is dependant on sites such as facebook to live. This is hard to conclude as the 'natural' teenage is a constant changing life form. As I skim the words I have just typed I come to realise people will judge me as a boring, lifeless character when I am just a teenager. The only difference is that I can put into words what the world's  parents wish to explain to their children.





I'm all honestly, I'm a secret nerd. I am right to believe that no one will have guessed this or expected it if I had announced it. I have ambitions and I have dreams. All of which I wish to pursue. My life long dream... A modern architect. I am willing to endure the 7 year university course because I know that it will give me a life of satisfaction and enjoyment.





I like to refer to an ancient Arab proverb - "Throw your heart out in front of you and follow it anywhere to catch it"

Mind control.

I hate to act as though I am a slave to the media but recently I have came to a sudden understanding that films and music use their type of media to send a message. Whether it is a long kept secret or it is out in the open I am still amazed by what I have found out. I found this out just by over-thinking the situation which is an annoying habit I hold. For example, when I watch a romantic comedy by the end of the film I have thought to an extent that I have mixed feelings about practically everything. I will always get a unwelcome sense of loneliness, maybe going as far as to say a minuscule amount of abandonment. I can recall numerous times when I have been in the same scenario as the main character in a 'Rom-com'. In a result of watching multiple romantic films in a short amount of time I feel there is need for change in my life, even though I feel this when not under the influence of mind-controlling films.


 All of this causes me to flow into the subject of stereotyping. The phrase 'Don't judge a book by it's cover' is easily a motto I can live by. If one was to judge me just by a rushed observation all they would see is some what of a party boy with not a care for the people around him. Under further investigation people will realise that I am not what I come across as. One of the many issues with me is that you can not get a deep understanding of who I am. You are more than welcome to ask but you will not get a response with any added significance because I am personally unsure to who I am. I have seriously considered getting some form of professional who is related to psychiatry to assess. A lot of what I am posting recently has a link to my alternate life plan. I have questioned whether an endless adventure can aid me in the search for my own self. 




'The Shins - New slang'

Recycled theory.

Against all odds I actually left the confines of my house today. I took some time out of my routine of sleep to see some friends. It proved a worth substitute. Most of the things that were said were undoubtedly hilarious but among the jokes and laughter a deep conversation had sprouted. The conversation was based around the idea of being in love. Being the expert, Jed took the lead. He had previously been in a 3 year relationship which he still misses to this day. Touching words paired with some favoured but depressing music brought back some feelings. These certain feelings were for a girl. It lead me to ponder deeply about whether it is possible to entirely forget someone so close. 


The conversation prior to my feelings had caused a domino effect making me rethink of practically everything that I had thought recently. The life plan that I have explained in my last post has been completely altered to include one girl. As I wondered into my imaginative side the more it dawned on me that this will never happen. I like to think of this situation as linked to Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection. What I figured out wasn't exactly the same but followed the same context. I came to the conclusion that all of the beautiful girls are adapted to fall in love with the good looking guys, leaving the not so good looking guys to live unmatched and helpless.